How To Handle Mom Guilt

Oh…Mom Guilt

I am going to go out on a limb here and say, I KNOW all moms (probably dads too) have mom guilt. We all regret something we did. We wish we could reverse the clock, and maybe rethink what we said or how we reacted. Let’s just face it, mom guilt is real.

How I Know Mom Guilt Is Real

The other day I went to a meeting with a group of about 15-20 other moms. This group is for support, encouragement, love, story sharing, and pretty much anything else a mom would like to share. There is always a theme talked about, and on this particular day it was mom guilt. So naturally, all the ladies started to share their stories of what they regretted most.

One mothers was when she went on a short drive she accidentally forgot to buckle in her second child in his car seat. He made it into the car seat, just not buckled. Another moms was when she would run into the post office super fast without her two kids (we live in a very small town).

Moms talked about how they wished they didn’t yell so much at their kids or grab them by the arm when trying to get their attention. Several had mom guilt about letting their kids watch to much TV or play on a tablet to often. Other moms shared how they felt mom guilt while being on their phones instead of focusing, and giving attention to their child. If these stories do not sound real then I do not know what is.

The Funny Thing About Mom Guilt

I personally did not share any of the stories mentioned above at the mom gathering. But the funny thing is, I have been in every one of those situations. Yes, I have forgotten to buckle a kid in. Yup, I did it. I RAN (hint ran) into a store without my kids. More then once, I have said things I wish I didn’t. And yes, yes, yes, to all the other stories. And multiple other moms had the same mom guilt’s.

I am sure many of you can relate to some, if not all the stories shared. As we are all beating our selves up for what we have done, you may not realize that almost every mom has done what you might be feeling guilty for. So now that we know we all have it, how do we actually handle it??

Disclaimer: I am not giving you permission to go into a store for an hour or even five minutes, especially on a hot day without your kids. And this is definitely not something to take lightly.

What To Do With Mom Guilt?

It was really nice to hear everyone’s stories, but I will be honest, they didn’t really help me “deal” with my mom guilt. Yes, they confirmed that we all have it. But, as I left the meeting I didn’t really leave with anything except for stories I could relate to my own.

Once I got home, I didn’t have mom guilt, I had personal guilt. Instead of talking about our past mistakes I wished we could have brought in a little more light and positive vibes. I wished I would have spoken up and asked a few questions.

Questions like… How are we going to help each other prevent mom guilt from happening in the future? How are we going to react to situations differently? What are we going to do to make things different? These are just a few questions that I think could help each one of us deal with our mom guilt.

I don’t have all the answers, and I am not perfect, but here are some things I personally do to deal with mom guilt.

• Stop dwelling on what happened. It happened in the past, so put it behind you. (easier said then done)

• Remember that everyday is a new day and you get a new opportunity to try again. Thank goodness! 🙂

• Forgiveness is key. When you know you said or did something you wished you didn’t, go resolve the situation. Take responsibility for your actions and own up to them.

• Understand that your child will probably forget about the “incident” before you do (depending on age of course). So forget about it already! 😉

• Use your particular situation as a learning tool. Learn from it, and come up with a way to react or change in the future.

• Don’t compare. As you just learned, we all do similar things. So just focus on you and your little ones.

• Focus on the positive. What good things have you done today, past week, month, year. You have feed your kid everyday! That is something very positive. 🙂

• Be real. Things happen, laugh it off, and keep moving forward.

• Talk with other moms on how to become the best you. You got this girl!

As fun as it can be to laugh with other moms about our past mistakes, also try to help each other learn from them. Build each other up and figure out how you can be a better parent the next time something comes up.

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Embrace The Kids – Make Them The Reason

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